


Seal My Fate

by I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own



Series: Malec One Shots [10]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: He comes back, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 10:53:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18497470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own/pseuds/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own
Summary: In which two wrongs don't make a right, but two rights might fix a wrong. OR in which Magnus decides there's no point starting over from ashes and dust, Azrael gives Asmodeus an ultimatum, and Asmodeus and Alec make two deals to fix the one they never should have made in the first place





	Seal My Fate

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently, suicidal Magnus is like really calling to me right now, but I just can't keep him dead. That's apparently not in the cards.
> 
> The ending is kind of abrupt because I'm still figuring out where I want them to go, maybe I'll write that, but also I might not. So... uh, you can choose what happens next...

_I feel a change in the atmosphere,_  
_I never thought I'd end up back here._  
_Divided, alone, afraid,_  
_In a breath my chains reappear._  
  
_And I build it all up just to watch it fall down._  
_(Nothing left to save, I'm letting go)_  
_And I'm digging all up what I've buried underground,_  
_I'm losing, I'm losing control._  
_I'm losing control_  
~Losing Control, Red

* * *

There’s no Camille to save him this time. No Ragnor, no Catarina, no Dot. No one to step in and save him from himself.

He should have left the moment he realized what Alexander Lightwood could do to him. Should have packed up, passed the title on, and left the City as quickly as his portals could carry him away. But he’d stayed. _Foolish_. He’d let himself fall. _Stupid_. He’d sacrificed. _Reckless_. He lost everything.

Eight hundred years of giving himself to everything he set his heart on, eight hundred years of endless hard work to build himself up, to make something of himself. Eight hundred years and all of it is gone in the span of three months. His whole life’s work just tossed away without a second thought. A love that turned to ashes in his mouth.

Where do you even think to start again from here? Standing in the ashes of everything he built, in the dust of all his dreams turned to ruin. Everything he’s worked towards, just salted and burned before his eyes. A whole life destroyed in a matter of months. How do you recover from that? Why would you want to?

He’d had the world at his fingertips all that time ago, looking down into the River Themes, and still he’d felt like there was nothing for him. Camille had taken his hand and she’d guided him through, showed him all the things he still could do, all the ways he could still impact the world around them, all the ways he could find meaning in his life. He’d had the world then, and still it hadn’t been enough.

Now he has nothing, and no one.

* * *

Alec doesn’t understand the fire message that lands on his desk in front of him, feels like he’s missed something completely, but doesn’t know what it is.

_‘For what it is worth, I don’t blame you.’_

He doesn’t understand what Magnus is talking about, considers the break up, but knows in his heart that’s not correct. Were he in Magnus’ shoes, he’d never forgive him, not for anything. But if it’s not the break up, then he has no idea what Magnus could be meaning, no idea at all.

* * *

He doesn’t really mean to send the message but figures he should probably let Alec know _something._ Should probably let Alec know that Magnus doesn’t fault him; for leaving, for breaking his heart, for throwing him so deep into the darkness he can’t find a way out. Should let Alec know there is nothing that needs to be forgiven, because Magnus doesn’t blame him. So, he writes the message quickly and sends it on its way.

With the message gone, he takes a deep breath in, closes his eyes, and steps out into thin air.

* * *

Asmodeus pauses suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk, clutching at his chest as a sharp pain shoots through his heart. It is a pain he’s only felt once in his long life and it is a pain he never truly expected to feel again.

“Magnus.” He whispers, something he vaguely recognizes as terror swallows almost all of the sound. Between one pained breath and the next, he’s disappeared from the street, finds himself standing on the rocky shores of the East River, his heart in his throat when he sees the body face down in the water. “Magnus.” He mumbles, walking on shaking legs into the water, falling to his knees, pulling his son into his arms and cradling him against his chest. “Why?” he chokes, breathing heavily. “I didn’t mean-“ but the words die in his throat, because he had meant, he’d meant to break Magnus’ heart so spectacularly that Magnus would agree to come back to Edom with him. He’d wanted Magnus broken but he didn’t imagine Magnus would ever do this.

“Brother?” Asmodeus flinches at the sound.

“You’re not taking him.” He snarls, clutching Magnus so tightly to himself, as if he can truly ward his sibling away.

“He’s already dead, brother.” His sister tells him, as she comes to stand beside him, squeezing his shoulder tightly. “He’s no longer yours to claim.”

“No, I-I’ll fix this. You can’t have him.” Asmodeus argues, even as he can feel Magnus’ soul beginning to unmoor from his body, called by his sister’s presence.

“How?” his sister asks with a sigh, as she comes to sit down opposite him, thankfully keeping her hands to herself, Asmodeus doesn’t know what he’d do if she reached out for Magnus now. “You lost any control you had over my domain when you Fell. Unless his life is granted in a deal.”

“Then I will find someone to deal.” Asmodeus promises, not loosening his grip on his son for even a single second. “I will find someone to deal and you will not have him. You already took my daughter; you will not have him, too.”

“You caused this, Asmodeus. First when you took his magic, then when you took the love of his life. This is the result of your direct actions, if you do not like it, perhaps you should have thought things through in greater detail.” His sister points out, a dark look in her eyes. “Do not blame me for simply doing that which is required of me.”

“Please, Azrael, you are responsible for giving live as well as taking it away. Please-“ he pleads, more desperate than he has been since his fall.

“What will you give in return?” Azrael questions, cocking her head to the side. “Brother, you know I must have a life in return for a life.”

“Lilith’s son, he was already part of your domain.”

“Lilith’s son is currently bound to this earth by his tie to Clarissa Morgenstern.” Azrael answers, shaking her head. “He’s not a viable option and his life is not yours to give. I will give you twenty-four hours to make a deal. After that, Magnus’ soul is mine, never to be returned.” She states, before disappearing with a gust of wind from her wings.

Asmodeus stares at the spot his sister had occupied for a long time, before he looks down at Magnus, sees the faint glow that envelopes his son, the soul attempting to break free from the confines of a vessel no longer fit to contain it.

“I will fix this.” Asmodeus promises, because that’s his job, that’s what he’s supposed to have been doing the entire time. Magnus is his son, his responsibility, he’s supposed to have been making sure Magnus had everything he wanted, not taking it all away. “I will, I promise.”

* * *

The second fire message makes about as little sense as the first one had, but this one has an even more interesting sender.

_‘We need to speak. Meet me at Vera’s ~ Asmodeus’_

Of course, it raises the question of how Asmodeus is sending him fire messages, since he’s pretty sure the reception from Edom is, well, hell. Which then raises the even more concerning question of whether Asmodeus is free, and if so, what part, if any, Alec had to play in freeing him. He supposes there’s only one way to find out, and quickly grabs his bow and heads out.

* * *

The only place Asmodeus knows is available for him to go is Vera’s, where hopefully she hasn’t been discovered yet. So, he heads there, is more relieved than he probably should be to find her still on the ground. It’s a matter of a few minutes to banish her body into the ether and clean the blood, Azrael’s probably claimed her soul hours ago.

He gently rests Magnus down on a couch in the back room, he imagines it was for whenever Vera needed to recover from a difficult channelling, either way, he’s grateful for it. With Magnus… resting, he now has to figure out what deal he can make to fix this. With that in mind, he sends a fire message to Alexander Lightwood, the best candidate to help him, since they both caused this.

* * *

Alec’s not really sure what to expect when he steps through the door but finding the shop seemingly empty is definitely not at the top of his list. It doesn’t stay empty for long.

“Shadowhunter.” Asmodeus greets, stepping through the beads and greeting the boy he has to accept will probably one day end up his son-in-law. “I’m pleased you came.”

“What’s this about?” Alec asks, narrowing his eyes at the demon. “And how did you get out of Edom?”

“You opened a doorway, I simply stepped through. But that’s not important.” Asmodeus states, shaking his head. “What is important is that the both of us have made a dreadful mistake and we have twenty-four hours to fix it.”

“I don’t understand.” Alec says, shaking his head, his brow furrowing. “What mistake?” Asmodeus doesn’t answer, simply turns on his heel and leads Alec back to where he left Magnus.

“Brace yourself.” He says, just before Alec steps through the doorway and stops, staring at Magnus’ so obviously dead body.

“Magnus?” Alec whispers, his voice breaking as he stumbles forward, falls to his knees beside the couch, reaching out to gently caress Magnus’ face with trembling fingers. “What happened?” He asks, his voice shaking as much as his hands are, the grief pooling in his gut and growing with every second.

“He threw himself off the Brooklyn Bridge.” Asmodeus admits, refusing to look at them, refusing to look at the one person who might possibly love his son more than he does.

“This is your fault!” Alec exclaims, turning to glare at the demon, who doesn’t look his way.

“This is _our_ fault.” Asmodeus corrects, shaking his head. “It takes two to make a deal, Alexander.”

“You said we could fix this?” Alec asks, before his anger and guilt can consume him, before the grief overwhelms him. “Twenty-four hours?”

“I can bring him back, but only in deal, if we don’t come up with an acceptable deal, Azrael will claim his soul in twenty-four hours.” Asmodeus explains, finally turning to face him. “Of course, we’ll have to make two deals, since I’m not willing to risk this again and you’re so mortal it sickens me.”  

“Well, what do you want?” Alec asks, turning back to Magnus, gently brushing Magnus’ hair out of his face. “You should have already guessed that I’ll give anything for him.”

“Yes, that’s rather the problem.” Asmodeus admits with a sigh, trying to think of something that would satisfy the parameters needed for a deal of this magnitude. “Hold on, you have a parabatai, don’t you?” he asks, raising an eyebrow, smirking when Alec flinches. “Excellent, we sever your link to your parabatai for good and I’ll bring back Magnus.”

“No, I-“

“Will do anything for Magnus, isn’t that what you just finished saying?”

“Magnus gave up his magic to save Jace for me, you want me to throw that all away now?” Alec questions, shaking his head. “No, there has to be another way.”

“Look, Lightwood, when I make you an immortal, your bond with your parabatai is going to crumble anyway. If it happens before we use it in a deal, that sacrifice is wasted.” Asmodeus explains, crossing his arms over his chest. “You lose your parabatai; you get Magnus. You lose your runes; you get magic and the immortality that comes with it. If you won’t make the deal, tell me now, so I can find someone who loves my son enough to save him no matter what.”

“I lose my runes?”

“To give you magic, I’m going to be corrupting the angel blood that runs through your veins, it’ll be similar to the corruption I underwent at my Fall. The runes won’t survive the transition.” Asmodeus clarifies, with a shrug of his shoulders. “It’s a small price to pay to have forever with Magnus, when you were willing to have nothing.”

“Yes, yes, fine. I agree, to both deals.” Alec finally says, reaching out to grab Magnus’ hand in his own. “Do it. But if you _ever_ interfere in our relationship like this again, I’ll find a way to banish you to Edom and ensure you can _never_ leave.”

“I have no doubts.” Asmodeus agrees, nodding his head. “Let’s get this over with.” The demon says, closing his eyes and beginning to chant in what Alec thinks might be Enochian, before there’s an immense pain in his parabatai rune and he screams, clenching Magnus’ hand in his own, and doubling over. The pain becomes so great he thinks he might actually have blacked out, because one moment he’s in agony, and the next the pain is simply gone, along with his awareness of Jace.

“God, Jace.” He mumbles, realizing that Jace would be feeling the same kind of agony. He grunts and writes out a fire message and sends it on its way as quickly as he can, to let Jace know he’s alive and fine and that he’ll explain later.

“Let’s get the other deal done before Magnus wakes up.” Asmodeus says, when Alec has pitched forward, resting his head against Magnus’ too still chest.

“Yeah, sure.” He mutters, feeling exhausted in a way he doesn’t think he has ever been.

This time, he definitely does black out, but when he comes to, his whole body is warm and tingling and refreshed, the pain is gone. He breathes in deeply and pushes himself up from where he’d fallen to the floor, his eyes almost immediately moving to Magnus, who looks infinitely better than just a few moments ago, the colour rapidly returning to his skin.

“I will leave the two of you to it.” Asmodeus states, after a few moments of deliberation. “He knows how to find me, when he wants to talk.” He says, deciding to gracefully bow out, knowing he’s the last person his son probably wants to see.

“Thank you.” Alec whispers, just before Asmodeus is gone with a turn of his heel.

* * *

Magnus is confused when he opens his eyes and finds himself apparently still amongst the living, he lets out a cough and sits up, flinches just a little when hands suddenly appear in his vision to help him up.

“Magnus.”

“Alexander?” Magnus questions, frowning, turning to look at Alec and can’t help but stare at his bare neck, where Magnus swears the deflect rune used to be. “What?”

“Right, uhm, so there’s a lot we need to talk about.” Alec admits, exposing his neck when Magnus’ reaches forward to brush his fingers over the unmarked skin.

“Just so we’re clear, you’re actually a Shadowhunter, and you did break up with me, right? I didn’t imagine that?” Magnus asks, raising an eyebrow, as he finally gets some self-control and manages to pull his hands back, barely resists the urge to sit on them so he won’t be able to keep touching the blank expanse of skin before him.

“Right, that’s one of the things we need to talk about.” Alec agrees, with a nod. “I broke up with you because it was the price your father asked in order to return your magic. I thought… well, I thought you’d be happy with your magic back and that you’d… I don’t know, that you’d be able to get over me.” Alec explains, looking as defeated as he sounds.

“How ridiculous.”

“I know that _now.”_ Alec exclaims, just this side of hysteric. “Fuck, Magnus, I love you, more than anything and I can’t… Jace said he didn’t think he’d ever be able to give Clary up, no matter what, not after having already lost her, even if giving her up meant saving her from Jonathan, and I didn’t, honestly, I really didn’t understand. But I get it now. I understand so much.”

“Alec-“

“You died!” Alec blurts out, before gasping in a breath and shaking his head. “God, you died, Magnus!”

“So, I did die?” Magnus asks, brow furrowing in confusion. “How am I here?” he questions, looking around him, looking down at his hands, relaxing when his magic responds immediately to his call, bathing his fingers in that beautiful blue glow.

“Your father.” Alec answers, shrugging his shoulders. “He found you, called me here and we made a deal… two deals.”

“Great, more deals with my father, because the first one turned out so great!” Magnus says, his voice heavy with sarcasm.

“It was the only way to save you! I severed my parabatai bond with Jace, in return for your life, and then I let your father… well, I’m the Nephilim equivalent of Fallen.” Alec explains, reaching up to press his hand over his bare neck. “It’s why my runes are gone.”

“You did what? _Why?_ ”

“Well, I’m immortal now, magical. Your father decided he’d make it… easy for us to be together forever, rather than risk you… risk-” Alec chokes and closes his eyes. “I drove you to suicide, why would you even want to be with me anymore?”

“Alexander, dearest, please consider the fact you’ve literally just given up the other half of your soul and your entire life’s work for me, yet you can’t figure out why I might be willing to overlook the fact that I might have died temporarily?” Magnus questions, incredulous. “You stupid fool, I love you. And you didn’t push me to anything, didn’t you get my note?”

“ _That’s_ what you were talking about?” Alec exclaims, disbelieving. “Magnus, you can’t just send someone something like that and then just kill yourself. I don’t-”

“You have to consider that I wasn’t thinking all that clearly at the time, Alexander.” Magnus points out, reasonably. “No one in their right mind throws themselves off a bridge with the intention of not surviving.”

“I love you, but sometimes you’re so trying.” Alec mutters, agitatedly running his hands through his hair. “I mean, God!”

“Me? You’re the one who decided you breaking my heart would somehow solve all my life’s problems!” Magnus shouts, crossing his arms over his chest. “What the hell kind of thinking is that?”

“I thought I was giving you back your spark!” Alec yells back, shaking his head.

“By snuffing out the little ember that remained?” Magnus asks, shaking his head. “What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know that I was!” Alec admits, rubbing at his head, to try and will away the headache beginning to form.

“God, what a pair we make!” Magnus says, with a little laugh, slumping back into the couch. “Fuck, we’re ridiculous! Let’s agree that in future we’ll actually communicate in real words like actual adults when we have a problem, or we’re not coping, or someone’s tricking us into ruining our lives, or we’re otherwise inconvenienced, okay?”

“Alright.”

“Good. Now, we’re both homeless, we’re both jobless, and the only things we’ve got going for us, is that we’ve got magic, and we’ve got each other. Let’s go and crash in your mum’s guest room and try to figure out where to go from here, right?” Magnus asks, thoroughly over the whole situation.

“Oh. Wow, yeah, okay, that’s the weirdest feeling. Magnus, an hour ago I had a job, and a really nice home, and a title, and now...” Alec sighs, shaking his head, his shoulders slumping.

“Welcome to my world, darling. Come on, we can cry about it when we actually have somewhere to stay.” Magnus points out, climbing to his feet and snagging Alec’s arm. “Let’s turn over a new leaf.” He says, as he portals them away, they don’t look back.

* * *

  _Just another thorn in my side,_  
_I try again and fail._  
_I seal my fate, it's almost too late_  
_I try to hold on, but it's slipping, slipping away._

 _Hold on to me, don't let me fall,_  
_'Cause I can't waste it all on nothing._  
_Hold on to me, please don't let go,_  
_I'm losing everything._  
~Losing Control, Red

**Author's Note:**

> As for picking what happens next, Maryse is totally like 'wtf is wrong with you two? Oh my god! Can we all just chill out for like one fucking minute? Alec, stop making stupid decisions on Magnus' behalf. Magnus, I don't really have words for you right now, but if you ever force me to attend your funeral because you've shuffled yourself off this mortal coil...' but after that I'm like 'yeah, IDK what's next on the cards for them...'


End file.
